Aus Eis (Made Of Ice)
by Elsanna Potato Corner
Summary: Concept!Anna dies, resulting in Concept!Elsa freezing her own heart. Concept!Elsa eventually finds a way to access the Canonverse realm, and kidnaps Canon!Anna. Canon!Elsa goes to rescue her. [Elsanna, Canon!AU, Concept!AU, incest]
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Rating may be subject to change to M for violence/dark themes later.

* * *

 **α**

* * *

 _It is almost banal in the way she leaves this life—an ending wholly unbefitting for someone like her. Someone whose smile could melt snow and turn winter into summer, whose heart could wrap all of Arendelle in its warm embrace, and whose light could bring even the darkest of creatures back to the side of good._

 _...But what good would_ good _do now?_

 _What good would_ _ **good**_ _do now, as Elsa's hands desperately attempt to staunch the wound in her sister's chest, her pale hands turning red,_ red, _**red**_ _—_

"A-Anna, please…!"

 _Her words stumble from her lips as a sob. It is a miracle they sound coherent through her tears, through the pounding in her ears as blood thunders along her veins and blood stains her skin without care to her frantic pleas. She cannot even see her sister's face as her vision blurs, but she feels the hand brushing along the curve of her jaw, feather-light and weak._

 _So_ very _weak._

" _El...sa…"_

 _Her name passes through Anna's lips almost reverently, and Elsa's own heart nearly seizes at the realization that this may very well be the last time she will ever hear it. That it will be the last time those four letters, those two syllables, that one name—_ her _name—will ever be uttered in that light cadence, filled with fondness and love._

Love…

 _Love...is patient._

 _Anna's hand falls and Elsa catches it, knuckles as white as snow from how hard she grips it, as if she could anchor her sister to this world through her hold alone. As if she could anchor her here, and they could continue their outing, and no one would have to die, and_ —

 _Love...is kind._

 _Her throat burns. She hears someone screaming; the dreadful wailing echoing in the snow-covered clearing._

Love…

 _She feels the frost tingle beneath her fingertips, hears the whispers of the ice and snow, and the crunch of boots as the unfortunate hunter takes a step away to flee. To flee from his crime, to flee from the girl who ran through the snow without care to the world, turning back to smile at Elsa in the same instance that—_

" _She came out of nowhere!" Elsa hears him protest, and a part of her wonders why his voice sounds so choked. "I already loosed the arrow, and she suddenly—"_

 _Her hands clench, and she wonders why a wet gurgle passes through his lips._

 _She wonders why the snow seems so much redder than before._

 _She wonders why the clearing glitters so brightly beneath the sun; the light reflecting from...from_ —

Love is…

 _But that is no sun, hanging in the sky. The sun does not belong so high, so distant, so beyond the reach of those who need it most. The sun is here, down here where its warmth can thaw even the coldest of hearts. The sun is down here, in her arms._

Love is…

 _The sun is dead._

"Please…"

Anna _is dead._

" _You can't go...Not like this, you...you can't…"_

Love is…

" _Anna, please...please..._ Say something! _"_

 _But no words come. No laughter reaches her ears, and for the first time in forever, Elsa feels the cold. She feels the ache seeping into her bones, the teeth nipping at her skin as the hand firmly clenched in hers grows stiffer and colder, like stone._

 _Like ice._

 _She cannot see through her tears now. She cannot see Anna's face. She cannot see her loving smile. Not anymore._

 _Elsa bows her head, black bangs obscuring her vision further as another scream tears itself out of her throat._

Love is...cruel.

* * *

 **β**

* * *

"I'm bored!"

Elsa quirks an eyebrow and gives her reclining sister a side glance. She's draped across the couch Elsa had requested to be brought into the study, an arm thrown dramatically over her eyes. Elsa allows a faint chuckle to escape her before she signs the document before her and places it on the slowly growing pile off to the side. "Not much I can do for you, sister dearest. Why don't you go find Olaf and play with him?"

Elsa watches as Anna lowers her arm just enough for Elsa to get a glance at the enchanting teal irises. "Because as much as I love Olaf, I want to hang out with you," she replies matter of factly, "But what you're doing is so boring! Let's go play in the snow instead!"

"Anna," Elsa chides her sister gently. "I can't abandon my work just because you're bored."

"Of course not!" Anna protests, her impish smile belying her words. She sits up and gives a dramatic flourish of her hand. "You aren't abandoning your work; you're simply delaying your efforts towards purveyance of household goods in favor of solidifying your allyship with a fellow noble, who simply _demands_ your attention!"

The delicate hand over Elsa's mouth does nothing to hide her laughter. "You've been practicing court speech, haven't you?"

"I'm practically a lawyer," Anna answers smugly.

"That wasn't the sort of court I was referring to, Anna." Elsa looks back down at her current reading, over to the pile of what she has yet to do, and sighs. "I really can't afford to take a snow break, but how about a quick lunch?"

"A picnic?" Anna compromises, and the light in her eyes and the little excited gasp she gives is too much for Elsa to refuse.

Elsa just grins, stands up from her desk and walks over to the couch with her arm extended. "Come on then, let us find Gerda to assemble some food and a blanket."

"Yes!" Anna quickly grabs the outstretched hand, and bounces to her feet. "You need to take more breaks, the stress of working all the time isn't good for you. And… and…" The faintest hint of moisture wells in the corner of her eye, before she continues, "I-I… I missed you SO much, and… I know you're busy with running the kingdom, and I don't want to be bothersome… yet…" She starts to play with the tip of her right braid absentmindedly. "I feel like we still don't have enough time together—at least, not enough time just for us, without..." The left side of her lower lip disappears behind her teeth.

"Oh, Anna," Elsa frowns and sighs deeply, as she pulls her sister in for a crushing hug. "I'm sorry that my work is keeping me so occupied. The repairs from… the _incident_ are near complete. Hopefully once those are finished things will slow down a little."

"Hmm, I hope so Elsa," Anna snuggles deeper into Elsa's embrace, "because we have lots of catching up to do!"

Elsa only nods and continues to hold her in place, all the while trying to swallow down her negative feelings. The Queen feels the slow creep of anxiety flow through her veins at the thought of what had transpired not too long ago. In a brief moment of weakness, her arms stiffen and Anna takes notice of this as she pulls back a fraction to gaze upon her older sister.

"Elsa?..." Large concerned teal eyes bore into hers. Is she really that transparent?

 _Focus._

"Everything is fine Anna," Elsa sighs and tries to press forward with a small smile, "...just lost in thought. Nothing to worry about."

Anna looks at her skeptically, and Elsa knows her sister wants to press further.

"Are you sure?" she asks, letting go to cross her arms over her chest, teal eyes narrowing. "You're not just saying that, are you?"

 _I say many things. Most of them I don't mean._ "For once, I'm not," Elsa says at length, her smile growing a little bigger and more genuine. "Just...boring queen things—you wouldn't find it interesting."

Anna responds with a snort. "Even if I don't find it interesting, if it's something that's troubling you I'd like to hear about it," she says sternly. She drops her arms and takes Elsa's hands between hers, giving them a loving squeeze. "I want to help you, Elsa. If there's anything you need me to do, any work I can take over to remove some of the weight off your shoulders, please let me do it!"

Elsa's smile falters; the corners curling ever so slightly downwards. Her hands threaten to tremble, and she valiantly fights to keep them still and unassuming in Anna's warm grasp. Her old mantra dances at the edge of her thoughts, whispering those well-worn words.

"Anna, I can't ask that of you," she says at last, voice soft, "This is my problem to bear; not yours."

 _Not when you've gone through so much as it is…_

Elsa could see Anna opening her mouth to protest but she silenced the words by leaning forward and placing a feather light kiss on her beloved sister's forehead. "How about that picnic?" She asks, forcing a reassuring smile and praying that Anna would let the topic go.

Anna gives her a frown in response but reluctantly allows for the topic shift. "I was thinking maybe we could eat over by the pond," She suggests, "There are some ducklings running around that I want to see."

"Certainly, let's go find Gerda and get that food then."

As the two sisters make their way from Elsa's study towards the kitchens, they engage in idle conversation as Anna tries to keep the mood light between them. Anna spent several minutes telling Elsa about her adventures around town, especially about time she had spent playing with many of the young children in the kingdom since the Great Thaw.

Upon reaching the kitchens, Elsa opens the door to find Gerda overseeing the staff preparing lunch. "Gerda, could you please pack up the lunch for Anna and me, as we're going to go have a picnic by the pond."

"Of course, Your Majesty." She quickly bustles around the kitchen, co-ordinating the workers to gather the sisters' lunch into a basket, while finding a blanket to put in with the food. On the sly, she sneaks in a small tray of chocolate, knowing their deep-seated weakness for it.

Which is why Elsa later finds herself laughing at the sight of Anna half-soaked from having tripped into the pond. The duckling squawks at them from around the piece of chocolate still in its mouth, and it swims further away to rub more salt in the wound.

"I may love chocolate, but I wouldn't go _that_ far for it," the queen teases as Anna plops her half-drenched self beside her on the picnic blanket, grumbling about stupid ducklings and how 'they aren't that cute anyway' under her breath. She reaches a freckled hand for the remaining chocolates on the tray, but Elsa snatches it out of her reach, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Hey!"

"Diplomatic relations between us and the ducklings have already fallen once—I'd rather not have another repeat," the blonde says cheekily, taking a piece and smoothly popping it into her mouth. "Besides," she continues in between her chewing, "your hands are still wet and covered in dirt, too."

"There you go with that thing about dirt again…" Anna grumbles as she wrings out her braids, the sounds of countless drops hitting the blanket following shortly.

"Anna, I told you—I do _not_ have 'a thing about dirt'."

"Ah, Elsa… while the gloves may not have been required for the purpose of keeping the dirt off, that doesn't change the fact that you don't like to get dirty."

She giggles. But inside, she knows how much it hurts to hide the fact that it's not the dirt that's making her cover her hands. Anna doesn't notice it and smiles with grace with her.

Anna twirls the tip of her braid around her fingers. "So you admit it?"

Elsa shakes her head. "I don't know, what do you make out of the laugh?"

She shrugs and Elsa finds how ridiculous, she is herself. Oh, she knows. She goddamn knows she can't hide this forever.

"I think you hate dirt. Perhaps?"

"Perhaps," she finds herself repeating. Elsa hears the sarcasm in her voice, but a part of her wants to believe that _perhaps_ , Anna knows why she hides. She doesn't dare to question it.

The chocolate in her fingers melts and quickly, she smudges it on Anna's cheek. She doesn't like the tension.

Anna gasps, quickly trying to move away from her, but ends up falling to the ground. "Elsa!"

The woman laughs, dipping the brown sweet on Anna's nose. "And you love chocolate too, don't you?!"

"I do, but not on my face where I can't reach it!" her sister protests, and Elsa's lips quirk into a fond smile.

Elsa chuckles softly. "I remember how you used to get it all over the place when you were small." She jabs. "You had no complaints then."

Anna lets out a huff and shoots her sister a small, playful glare. "I was small and didn't know how to cherish and savour it back then! Now it's a colossal sin wasting it on parts of my anatomy that can't appreciate the taste!"

Elsa erupts into giggles at the passionate speech, covering her mouth with her gloved hand in a vain attempt to stifle the sound.

* * *

Anna bites her lip, trying to hide just how much she enjoys hearing her sister's laughter. _I wonder what it would feel like to have Elsa lick the chocolate off my face?_

Her face twists into a slight grimace at the thought—she's my sister, that would be a little weird? Gross? Wouldn't it? _Would it really be so bad, though?_

Coming out of her thoughts, she looks up at Elsa and finds that her sister has stopped giggling, and is staring back at her with a raised brow.

Elsa asks, "Anna, is… is everything ok?"

"Oh…" Anna begins, taming her grimace into a small smile, "Yes, everything is fine, Elsa. I was just caught up in my thoughts for a moment."

"Ah, well, don't think too hard or you might hurt yourself," Elsa teases with a wink, and Anna squawks out a protest at the swift rib and catches the queen off guard by suddenly pouncing on her.

Straddling her sister's waist, the princess captures Elsa's wrists and pins her arms to the ground above her head. "How dare you!" Anna feigned outrage. "That was really mean; I can't believe you said that!"

Elsa laughs and tries to escape from her clutches, but the redhead's grasp is unyielding. "Anna! Let me go. Come on, I was kidding!"

"Ha! As if I'll believe such lies! You won't get away with it that easily," Anna exclaims with a mischievous smirk. "Prepare to face your punishment!"

Ceasing her squirming, Elsa cautiously looks at Anna and questions, "What punishment?" She doesn't wait for an answer, shaking her head adamantly and saying, "Wait, you can't punish me! I'm the queen!"

"Watch me!" And with that, Anna brings her chocolate smeared nose close to Elsa's and boops them together, passing some of the yummy brown stuff to her sister's flawless skin.

"Anna!" Elsa shouts, her eyes going cross-eyed as she narrows them at the glob now prominently perched on the tip of her nose. She pouts and whines, "Anna, no."

But the princess refused to stop there, nuzzling her chocolatey sweetened cheek against Elsa's, further spreading the melted treat around her face.

 _How can she be so cool, and yet so warm, all at once?_ Anna thinks to herself.

A wave of understanding washes over her as she feels the tingling warmth, growing ever stronger, spread from her cheeks through her entire body. _OH… the warmth isn't coming from her._

 _Wait, what?! Why am I feeling this way?_

Her thoughts swerve back to reality at the sound of melodic laughter, and she pulls back somewhat to observe her sister. As the princess takes in the sight, she feels the air sweep out of her lungs. Anna swallows the lump in her throat at the view of Elsa pinned beneath her.

She laughs shakily. "U-Ummm… I-I guess we sh-should clean up."

Elsa replies with staggered gasps, "I think… I saw extra… water flasks and a… cloth in the basket."

"Y-Yeah, great thinking Els! I'll get them…" For some reason, Anna doesn't move and unconsciously averts her eyes to the rise and fall of her sister's chest.

 _Up...and down...Up...and down...Up_ —

"Um, Anna?"

"Yeah?" Anna has half a mind when she answers but does so nonetheless, still entranced by the motions of Elsa's chest.

"In order to retrieve them you have to get up…"

Anna hears Elsa trail off and looks up to see the blonde's face flushed a light pink, cobalt blues looking off to the side. The redhead is about to question her until a dawning realization is dumped on her like an ice cold bucket of water.

 _G-God! I must look like a total pervert!_

 _Wait… was I just… did I…_

She suddenly pushes herself up to her feet, rapidly getting off of her sister and putting some distance between them as her own face lights up like a lantern. _Oh GOD, was I… I was… checking out my sister?! What is going on with me?_

She tries to look away, truly. Yet from the corner of her eye, she watches as Elsa stands up—her lithe form moving as gracefully as a duck gliding across the water, sun glinting off platinum hair akin to the rays of a majestic early sunrise over the fjord.

Anna has to forcefully tear her eyes away from the mesmerizing sight that is _Elsa._ In order not to fall into whatever mode she was in earlier, she busies herself by scurrying over to the picnic basket. However, during her search, the princess chances a glance at her sister.

Anna sees nothing out of the ordinary as Elsa inspects her dress, smoothing out wrinkles here and there. She dabs at her hair and pushes a few strands back into place. They are simple tasks really, but Anna still finds herself watching nonetheless. A moment passes and her sister stops her ministrations to look in Anna's direction.

Embarrassed, Anna snaps her head back to the basket to continue rummaging through it.

 _I need to get a grip on myself right now._

"Are you alright, Anna?" Elsa asks and Anna's face grows hot at the concern in her melodic voice. "You look nervous."

 _Probably because I keep thinking about you in ways that I shouldn't be…_

"I'm fine." Anna answers instead. "Not nervous just...having a hard time finding…" She pauses when she realizes that she had forgotten what she was looking for while she was lost in thought, "...that thing I'm trying to look for…?"

She hears a warm chuckle, "The water flasks and cloth...remember?"

The redhead rolls her eyes, mentally berating herself for forgetting such easy things. _I must really have my head in the gutter._

Suddenly, Anna overhears the crunch of soft grass and as the sounds get closer, she swears she catches the crisp fragrance of mint.

The picnic basket below her gradually appears darker as more shade falls over it, and she feels Elsa's hand gently rest on her back—her breath hitching at the touch.

"Here, let me help you find them."

Shuddering ever so slightly at the warm—and definitely hinting of mint—breath glancing over her cheek, she tries to keep her thoughts straight.

Elsa uses her hand that isn't occupied by Anna's back to help dig through the basket. Anna assists her, albeit slowly, pushing sandwich contents and napkins off to the side. The princess makes sure not to cross paths with Elsa's hand as they both go through the contents of the basket. She is already on edge as it is!

A few short moments of silence pass until Anna spots the items they are looking for. She gives a small sigh of relief and begins to reach for the flask of water first located near the back. Unfortunately, Anna did not take into consideration that her sister had seen the contents as well and is now forced into another near heart attack situation.

 _Of course she would see it too dummy! She's right next to you for crying out loud!_

Anna holds her breath at the sight of her hand atop Elsa's.

"I win," Elsa breathes, almost in her ear, and a quiet chuckle follows. Her hand moves, taking the flask, and Anna nearly sighs in relief at having avoided a potentially awkward moment. They resettle themselves on the picnic blanket, and Anna finds a wet cloth on her face before she even has the chance to say anything. Elsa's movements are gentle, careful, as if Anna is glass beneath her fingertips, though it wouldn't be too far off the mark to think it's due to what happened out on the fjord a few days ago…

 _Cold._

 _So cold._

 _The coldest I've ever been_ —

Anna blinks away the memory of frost creeping across her vision, her features twisting into one of annoyance at Elsa's amused mutter of, "This is like cleaning a messy child."

"I am not a child!" she immediately protests, "And if we're talking about who's being a child here, _you're_ the one who smeared chocolate on me in the first place!"

"True, true…" Elsa chuckles, withdrawing the cloth from the princess' face. Holding it over the grass instead of the blanket, she wrings it dry before pouring more water to wet it once more. She sets to work cleaning her own face before Anna can even offer to do so.

 _Although, that's probably for the best, with these…strange feelings of mine..._

* * *

 **α**

* * *

"For the best?!"

"Your Majesty, please—"

"Anna was _**killed**_ because of that man, and you think I need to compensate _his_ family somehow?!" Blue eyes as icy and cold as the frozen fjord outside narrow into slits. "This _jest_ of yours is in poor taste, Kai."

The portly man before her stammers for a few moments; by contrast, his eyes are wide, wide with shock at her insinuation. "Your Majesty, I would never treat something this terrible as a mere _jest!_ Princess Anna was close to me, to _all of us_ , as well!" He wrings his hands, expression pleading as he takes a step forward. "If it was an accident, as he said it was, then...his family needs to be taken cared of. There are children out there without a father now, and—"

"There is a queen without her sister, too," Elsa snarls, and more frost creeps up the walls of her throne room in response to her growing fury. "His family does not concern me."

Kai shakes his balding head. "They are still your subjects, Your Majesty. Your actions have consequences, as you very well know, and as your advisor—"

A laugh escapes from her cracked lips, which curl into a smile that's just as cracked and broken. She hears Kai continue to speak, but his words are muddled, sounding as if her head were dunked underwater and he was speaking to her from the shore.

 _Consequences, consequences, consequences...I know them intimately. As intimately as_ her _._

"You always give such good advice," Elsa finally says when her laughter stops, and her tone is as cold and biting as the ice she commands. "So why has not one single word you've said been any help at all?"

The smile has not left her face.

She sees Kai furrow his brow in confusion. "Excuse me?"

Gerda, her old nanny, steps forth from where she had been standing off to the side, having been waiting for her turn to discuss... _preparations_. Her eyes soften into a look Elsa knows too well, and her hands grip tightly at the armrests of her throne for the words to come.

"We know you are grieving, dear. We all are. But taking your anger out on Kai won't bring her back." The older woman takes another step forward, a small—albeit sad—smile forming on her face. "We'll all get through this together, Elsa. Anna wouldn't want you to wallow in your grief for too long. And before you know it...you'll see the sun again. Her memory lives on in you, in all of us, and the best thing we can do...is to keep our heads up and carry on with a kind heart like she wanted."

She can't help it. She laughs again. The smile grows.

"Like she wanted?" The words are so absurd—how could anyone know what Anna wanted if Elsa couldn't even figure that out herself most of the time? For Anna had always been there to tell her, to give her a warm smile, to hug her close, to tell her she did the right thing, to...to…

"Elsa—"

"That's _Queen_ Elsa," she snaps, and that broken smile finally falls. Her lips curl into a cruel snarl, and the room rumbles as spikes begin to jut out of the walls and the floor in response to her fury.

"Queen Elsa, she's only trying to help!" Kai says, and she sees the anger in his eyes. A mere drop compared to the ocean inside her, but it is still anger nonetheless...and it merely fuels hers further.

"Oh? Help? Help like _you've_ been doing?" Elsa says sharply, her voice raising once more. "You can't help!"

"Queen Elsa, Kai is only—"

"And you, who sound so nice!" she says, whirling on her old nanny and standing as snowflakes begin to fall from the ceiling, "The more your dreams and fancies fill my head...I'd rather that I fall; taken by an arrow of my own! If I was senseless, I'd prefer it!" More ice, more spikes. "I'd prefer it over continuing to hear these meaningless words coming from your mouths!"

"My Queen, please! Calm down! It's the grief talking!"

" _Leave me!_ _ **Now!**_ _"_

Kai and Gerda flinch at the furious demand and give each other a sad glance. With hasty bows, they obey and leave the heartbroken Queen to her own devices.

Sitting upon her throne, now all alone, she finally lets her grief take over—no longer having to keep up a strong facade. Tears roll down her cheeks, only to freeze as they fall off.

 _What she wanted…_ she scoffs, _How could they EVER know what she wanted?_

"Oh, Anna…" she cries out amidst her tears, choking back sobs. "How… " She can't finish the sentence—it's too painful, sending her into a fit of unbridled wailing as she screams profanities at the heavens.

This can't be the end.

It has to be a nightmare. A horrific dream she'll wake up from any moment. A hallucination. _Something_ besides this reality. The rest of her life is meaningless if Anna is gone forever.

 _There has to be something._

Elsa stares at the ceiling with wide, dead eyes. The image of Anna's blood seeping into the snow burns in her mind. She digs her fingernails into the arm of her throne, frost creeping from beneath her skin. Every time she closes her eyes, Anna's pale features flashes before her. A powerful urge grips her. The need to claw at her own face, to rid her mind of Anna's still form, makes the blood in her veins race.

It's a nightmare. It _has_ to be.

"It can't be real," Elsa whispers, covering her eyes. "You can't be gone. Oh, Anna. Come back to me!" A sob breaks from her throat and tears slide down her cheeks only to freeze seconds later.

The air around her thickens with fog. The frost on her chair descends to the floor and the familiar hiss of ice spreads throughout the room.

She is alone again.

Alone.

Alone alone alone alone alone—

 _I want this pain to stop._

The thought flashes through her mind, and she hears it again—the whispers of the ice and snow. Of the power humming in her veins, lurking at her fingertips. She remembers that day on the fjord, when Anna showed all of Arendelle how she still believed in Elsa, in the cruel Queen of the Ice and Snow. How she still believed that her sister's heart wasn't entirely cold, how she was still worth saving, how there was still some light left in her…

 _But what now?_ Elsa thinks, and another chuckle threatens to fall from her cracked lips. Why does she laugh? Why is it so funny? What sort of twisted humor can be found in this...?

 _What light can possibly be found when the sun is gone?_

Again, the whispers beckon to her.

But, for now, at least...she ignores them.

* * *

 **Contributors:** the-wandering-quill, pankite/Wolfy Puppy7, Nopantsparade/Issandri, Cyrianu, Winterssummerallthefunner, CanITellUSmThin, Gunman/iamrottingbitch, TalksToPaintings


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Rating may be subject to change to M later for violence/dark themes.

* * *

 **β**

* * *

It's probably some fleeting fancy of hers. It _has_ to be.

Anna scowls and shoves her book back into its place on the shelf. On any other given day she would have been in her sister's study, but today, she just gave Elsa a quick kiss—on the cheek!—and bade her good morning. Then, she had rushed to library.

Books, however, have proved to be utterly useless to her.

Anna chews on her lip and picks out another edition. "There has to be something in here," she mutters to herself. Something to explain the heat she feels every time Elsa is near. To explain the desire she has to run her fingertips along her sister's hand when they sit together before the fireplace.

This is nothing like Hans or Kristoff. She's probably confusing her longing and admiration for something else. It's only natural after all. She hasn't spent that much time with her dear sister in over a decade. She's just not used to her presence anymore.

"What are you reading?"

Anna shrieks and jumps a whole foot in the air. Her forehead collides with the shelf and pain blinds her senses for a moment. Groaning, the princess grasps the wood for balance before looking over her shoulder.

"Olaf, what have I said about sneaking up on people like that?"

"Not to do it," the little snowman says. He twiddles his thumbs sheepishly and Anna's annoyance fades.

Anna chuckles and rubs his head. "That's okay, just...give me some warning next time alright?" She didn't want to have explain another bruise to Elsa.

"So what are you reading?" Olaf asks again.

Anna grimaces and shelves her book. "Nothing good."

"Oh. So it's bad?"

"Yes," she says, continuing through the library. He follows her with a skip in his step.

"Why?"

A grin tugs at her lips from his curiosity. "Because it didn't answer my questions."

Olaf tilts his head, dark eyes wide and innocent. "What questions?"

Anna stops, heat rushing up her neck. A million thoughts race through her mind. She wants to talk to _someone_ about these confusing emotions. And normally, that would be Elsa. But for obvious reasons, she can't talk to her sister. Yet, as much as she loves him for his curiosity and engaging nature, Anna knows Olaf doesn't have the tightest lips.

So even though a million thoughts pop into her head, Anna can only do one thing. Lie.

"Personal questions…"

 _Oh, it's not a total lie!_

Anna loves Olaf, she certainly does. But as of the moment all she wants to do is for him to leave her alone. But there's no one else more persistent than the adorable snowman.

"Hey Anna. Look!" Olaf points to a thin red book at the corner of the middle shelf next to the far wall. "Is that another snowman like me?"

The princess takes a closer look and takes a seat right next to Olaf. The spine of the red book certainly does have an image of a little snowman at the bottom. Curiosity gets the better of her and Anna takes the book gingerly in her hand.

"What's inside?" asks Olaf. "Open it, Anna."

A strange sensation overcomes the princess as she touches the hard edge of the book. It's not a pleasant feeling, but it's certainly not all good either.

"Why aren't you opening it?" Olaf insists. "Just open it."

"Uh…" Anna can't seem to look away. A strange force is keeping her glued to the book.

 _I should just do what Olaf says._

Slowly, Anna turns the hard cover. And inside is definitely something she did not expect.

"Why are all the pages blank?"

Puzzled, she flips through the book once again, trying to decipher why the pages would be blank—until she comes to the inside of the back cover which is covered in unfamiliar symbols.

"Well, that's… strange…" she mutters to herself, and puts the book aside on a nearby table for the moment.

She slowly makes her way around the room, scanning the various shelves for any book which might help her figure out what is going on with herself.

 _I don't want to be separated from her, and yet… I can't keep my eyes off of her when she's around._ She silently coughs as she remembers the afternoon a few days ago by the pond—the chocolate on Elsa's face, the rise and fall of her chest, the glow of the sun radiating the intrinsic beauty of Elsa's face and hair, the elegant grace of her lithe form. Once again, that tingling warmth spreads through her body like it had on that day, starting from her cheeks and chest, making it's way throughout the rest of her.

Eventually, she stumbles upon a section filled with fantasy novels. As she browses through the titles, she stumbles across one called Silver Snowflake.

Curiosity once again grabs hold of her, and she pulls the book from its spot on the shelf. Like the title, a silver snowflake adorns the front cover, with the name written in lavish script just below. Unlike the red book from earlier, Anna feels no sense of trepidation—or whatever it was—and opens the novel to the table of contents. She bites thoughtfully at her lip at the sight of all the chapters that would await her, and decides to skim through.

Heat blossoms across her face a few minutes later.

 _H-Hold on, that...that can't possibly be...what I think it is...right?_

She brings the book closer to her face, teal eyes frantically scouring over the lines once more, to make certain of exactly _what_ it is she just read. The heat in her cheeks does not go away as the printed words confirm her thoughts:

Two women. In a relationship with one another.

"Hey, Anna! What are you reading this time?" Olaf suddenly pipes up from beside her, startling her again.

Anna freezes. A strange situation mixture of nervous chills and hot desire courses through her. She whirls around, hiding the book behind her. "Olaf, you know how I said I had personal questions?"

Olaf brightens, bouncing on the tips of his stubby, snowy feet. "Did you find answers?"

Anna grins despite the nervous energy coursing through. "I think I might have." Even though she has no idea why the castle library holds such a book in the first place, Anna isn't going to question her luck. It's almost too good to be true.

"So what did it say?" he asks.

Anna tenses. She looks away from Olaf's curious face, the blush on her cheeks drowning out her freckles. "Um, um, I don't know I haven't read it yet." She can feel his expectant stare on her. Anna swallows thickly, throat bobbing up and down in time with her heartbeat. "I was going to do that. In private."

The little snowman stops bouncing in place. "Oh…" Anna's eyes dart to him and the sight of his disappointed expression almost makes her backtrack. Almost.

"I'm sorry Olaf." She leans down and presses a kiss to cool head. "I promise I'll read to you some other time."

But right now, a stay in her bedroom is in order. A long, uninterrupted stay.

* * *

The story begins with a young tomboy princess who is interested in girls— _only_ girls—and chose her heart over her kingdom. A few years later while serving as an odd-jobs person (hiding her royal lineage from everybody), she meets another princess who appears very cold and distant, and ends up responsible for taking the princess to her arranged marriage.

But, over the course of their several months long journey—during which they endure several mishaps, some the result of their own actions—the two women realize that they are _falling in love_ with each other.

Anna's cheeks flush. _Wait, is that even possible?_ She ponders this for several minutes.

A knock at her bedroom door shakes her from her thoughts. She hurriedly tucks the book under her pillows.

"Come in!" Anna calls, trying to keep her voice from coming out as a squeak as she positions herself as casually as possible on the bed.

The princess holds her breath as the doorknob slowly turns.

 _What if it's Elsa? Oh man, oh man. I don't think I can face her right now! I'm not ready!_ She releases the air from her lungs as Gerda strides in.

"Anna there you are!"

"Here I am," the young girl responds, giving a tight smile.

"Have you forgotten today?" the servant asks, urging her off the bed and quickly pushing her in the direction of the changing screen, "Your visit to the town's orphanage? It's in fifteen minutes, dear!"

Anna stares at the old nurse and her eyes slowly widen at the realization. "That was today!?" She tries to keep up with the older woman, unaware of the stray dress wrapped around one of her legs until she went sprawling to the floor in an ungraceful face plant.

Gerda tsks. "Are you alright, Your Highness?" she asks. She makes her way over the the Princess' wardrobe to lay out an outfit but glances at the redhead out of the corner of her eye with a teasing smile.

"I'm fine. Just fine," Anna replies as she laughs. "Thank you, Gerda."

Gerda responds in her usual warm friendly tone, "Don't mention it, dear."

The next few minutes are a flurry of fabrics and pins as the woman helps Anna into her dress for the visit. She scarcely has time to reorient herself before Gerda tugs on her hand, ushering her through the halls of the castle and down to the gates.

"Your sister should already be there waiting for you," Gerda explains. She rushes through her words and it was all Anna could do to keep up with both the explanation and her pace. "You don't have to do much, mostly just smile and talk with the young ones on occasion." She gives the Princess a firm glare over her shoulder. "Please refrain from doing anything unbecoming of your status."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I should be able to do something more than just talking," She protested. "What if I wanted to play with the kids? I'm sure they'd like that."

"Elsa is bringing Olaf for the children to play with already so there should be no reason for you to do so too."

"But Gerda," the princess grouses as she puts on the most childish pout she can muster, "surely there will be more children there than Olaf can reasonably play with at once—you wouldn't want the other children to feel left out, would you? I know I certainly don't."

The older woman sighs in response.

 _Yes!_ The princess thinks to herself, grateful that she was able to convince the other woman to concede her point.

But she waits and her feet can't help but bounce up and down in anticipation. "So? Can I?" God, she sounds like a child, but sometimes, she just needs to be a child considering her responsibility of being a princess and ruling a kingdom with just her sister. Though, she rarely does anything and she wonders how Elsa is able to maintain her sanity with all the documents, treaties, and meetings with greasy old men who yells like they're animals, that needs to be done and done on time.

Gerda smiles. She's exhausted herself even more, seeing the positive energy from the princess. "Alright, you may."

Immediately, with a silent fist pump in the air, she leaves the room and leaves Gerda to clean up all the clothes on the floor left behind her. Gerda shakes her head. "Gods, how does our queen handle a girl like her?"

* * *

 _Anna sure is running late…_

Elsa sighs, turning her gaze away from the clock tower and back to the building just down the street, where an assortment of childish faces can be seen at the different windows. Their faces are adorned with wide, excited grins, and she can almost feel their energy from over there. She gives a smile of her own—more reserved than theirs, of course—and offers a small wave, with snow flurries drifting briefly from her fingertips. She watches as their mouths drop open in wonder, their eyes lighting up at the brief spectacle.

It's hard to believe that less than two weeks ago, she wouldn't have dared to use her magic in such a way.

 _And I have Anna to thank for that,_ the queen thinks, lowering her hand and cradling it to her chest. She glances back at the clock once more and breathes another sigh, unable to help the disappointment settling over her shoulders. _I had hoped we'd be able to spend more time like this, but_ —

"Wait!" a familiar voice calls out, "I'm here! I'm not late!"

Elsa perks up and a smile lights her features as she catches sight of Anna running towards her. "You are actually," she teases, hiding a soft giggle behind her hand as Anna comes to a halt beside her and starts gasping for breath. "What, did you fall asleep or something?"

Anna's cheeks turn a cute shade of pink and Elsa barely catches the mumbled reply. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said I got caught up in some reading." Anna's blush darkens and Elsa lifts a curious eyebrow at the flustered response.

"Must've been a good novel," Elsa smiles gently, "Come on, let's go."

She starts walking towards the orphanage, and notes the children leaving the windows—no doubt to greet them at the door. The thought makes her smile grow, and Elsa turns to look at her sister, a hand tentatively reaching out as a request for them to link arms—

There is a frown on Anna's face; her gaze aimed at the ground.

—and she jerks her hand back. A strange tightness coils around her throat, and her heart thuds dully in her chest at the sight. Her smile falters, and she looks away, arms wrapping loosely around her middle.

 _Does she...not want to be here? With...with me?_

Admittedly, she could be overthinking this, but...Anna _has_ been acting a little distant for the past few days. She used to be so free with her hugs and other affectionate displays, but…

 _Or it could be that she was simply caught up like I was in our reunion._ The old fears resurface, and Elsa's bottom lip begins to tremble. _What if she doesn't want_ —

"Is...Is everything alright?" Elsa ventures to ask before she can stop herself, and she hears rather than sees Anna perk up, as if jolted from her own thoughts.

"H-Huh?"

Elsa frowns even more and hesitates to step close to her and bring her hand to hold her little sister. Is there...a reason why Anna's been acting so strange lately? She watches as Anna's face flush and her eyes are back to the ground again.

"I-I'm alright. Why?"

"I was… trying hook my arm around yours and I saw that you... D-Did I do something wrong? You've been acting… distant. A lot lately. Around me."

Anna chuckles and waves her off. "Nah, I'm just… You're overthinking it, sis. Now, come on, they're waiting!" This time, Elsa feels Anna's hand around hers. It's trembling. Elsa holds it tight and stops her from moving further towards the orphanage.

"Anna, you're shaking."

The redhead turns, her smile fading at the sight of Elsa's troubled look. She tries to take her hand back, but Elsa can't seem to let go.

"H-Hey, let go, Elsa. I'm fine."

Elsa tenses at the words and slowly, her grip loosens.

 _Let go, Elsa._

 _Let go…_

Thoughts swirl around her mind stirring up memories of all those years in isolation. Closed doors, closed hearts and just… closed off. Away from the people she deeply cares for. Away from Anna.

 _Let go, Elsa._

She slides her hand up Anna's wrist. _Not yet._ Elsa needs that reassurance just like that time at the fjord when she thought she lost her.

 _You can't let go, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show._

Elsa remembers the feel of her sister's ice cold skin. All the gentle warmth lost. She recalls the dead silence that everyone feared breaking. No more of the sweet smiles that crinkle at her eyes and no more of the infectious laughter that fills the castle's hallways.

 _You're doing this to protect everyone you love. You can't let go. Conceal, Elsa._

The queen tightens her grip around Anna's wrist as she feels her sister's strong pulse thumping briskly against her palm. The beat, a constant reminder that she hasn't lost the one she loves most forever.

 _You can't let go. You can't hurt Anna anymore—No. Never again._

With one last squeeze, Elsa finally slides her hand off Anna's trembling one. Still worried, the queen resolves to never fall back into that state of constant fear ever again. All she has to do is remember how much Anna trusts her, how much Anna believes in her and how much Anna loves her. _'I love you!'_

 _Let go, Elsa._

The doors slowly open.

 _No._

 _I can't._

Because Elsa knows assuredly that when it comes to Anna, letting go is something she can never do.

Not again.

She fights to school the tight grimace upon her face into a smile—as her upbringing has taught her to do. She will not let the children see anything else today.

 _Conceal, don't feel._

She doesn't notice the snow that starts falling lightly around them—too deep into her own thoughts and emotions.

"Oh! Are you making a bigger flurry for me today?" a familiar voice pipes up, and Elsa turns to see Olaf waddling towards them, his snowy features arranged into his signature buck-toothed grin. Her cheeks color in shame at having forgotten he was supposed to join them too.

Fortunately, the loveable snowman doesn't catch on to anything, and he chortles, clapping his wooden hands together. "Ohhh, the kids and I will have so much fun today! But no fire—definitely no fire."

Despite her inner turmoil, Elsa feels a smile twitch at her lips. Thankfully, he gives her the perfect excuse to explain her sudden lack of control. "I thought the children would enjoy a bit of a snow day with how hot it's been lately," she says softly. She notices the concerned look that graces Anna's face but looks away, her heart pounding painfully in her chest at the thought of her open, honest sister keeping something from her.

It is a bitter pill to swallow.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Olaf exclaims, hopping up and down before excitedly waddling over to the orphanage. The two sisters follow at a slower pace, though Elsa takes the lead.

At least this way, she won't be able to see whatever expression is on Anna's face…

"Queen Elsa! Princess Anna!" a chorus of voices greet them once Olaf throws the doors open, and Elsa can't help but smile a little at the sight of all the beaming faces before them.

 _The children are always full of joy, despite their circumstances._ A sudden image of a bright, cheerful young Anna flashes through her mind, and Elsa's heart twists painfully at what has just happened prior. There are so many unanswered questions as to why her loving sister is acting so guarded lately...

Small giggles snap the Queen out of her turbulent thoughts, "Do the magic, Queen Elsa!"

She swallows the lump in her throat at the feelings those words inflicted on her.

 _Focus on the children, Elsa. As far as Anna goes...we will speak later._

* * *

 **Contributors:** TalksToPaintings, ms-archer17/msarcher17, Cyrianu, the-wandering-quill, Winterssummerallthefunner, pankite/Wolfy Puppy7, Gunman/iamrottingbitch


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Rating may be subject to change to M for violence/dark themes later.

* * *

 **β**

* * *

Elsa had tried to get Anna's attention once they returned to the castle after their visit to the orphanage, but to no avail, for Anna hastily departed as soon as the carriage stopped in the courtyard without speaking a word to her. Departing the carriage herself, she makes her way to her own bedroom to be alone.

Once safely behind closed doors, the queen grimaces as she still feels something continuously tugging at her heart. _Did I do something wrong?_ Her thoughts were tearing at her, face twisting into a frown. _Or were our recent times together truly just a short-lived respite due to the 'incident'?_ Wetness started pooling in the corner of sapphire eyes. Her powers were manifesting with a swirl of snow spiralling about her, yet she failed to notice. _Maybe she… maybe she hates me now?_ Tears begin to rapidly stream down pale cheeks as she wrings her hands together against her chest, sinking to the floor in anguish. Her heart now thundering against her chest, even as it felt like there was a hole in it which was slowly growing larger as each second passed.

Wailing through her tears she whispers, "Ah-Anna!"

 _I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true. I_ —

A knock immediately had her head snapping to her bedroom door, eyes wide even as the tears continued to flow. Hope fluttered in her heart, only to be crushed at the sound of Olaf's voice from the other side of the painted wood.

"Elsa! Are you in there?"

The young woman stares at the door, contemplating if she should reply. With her current state, she would rather be left alone.

 _I'm in no position to be seeing anyone at the moment. The only person I want to see and be with wants nothing to do with me._ The thought of it brings a fresh new wave of tears, and Elsa covers her face in anguish. She attempts to mask her broken sobs in hopes that Olaf would not hear her and maybe go elsewhere.

"Elsa?" Although his voice seems muffled a bit by the door, Elsa notices the slight change of emotion in his normally happy, upbeat self. "Strange," he continues, "I thought I saw her come into her room..."

She holds her breath at the short silence that follows. Elsa nearly jumps as Olaf speaks again.

"Well!" his voice sounding much more cheery this time, "I guess if Elsa isn't here, maybe Anna can help tell me why I feel so sad!" She hears his little snowman stubs waddle away from her door.

 _Why you feel so sa_ —… _Olaf!_ Her heart plummets as realization dawns on her that through all her miserable emotions right now, Olaf might be susceptible to every single one. What else could explain his random bout of sadness? Let alone why he would have someone else explain to him why he's feeling so down.

Her thoughts drift back to Anna, and she can feel the pain welling up once more. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to block out the pain.

"Please," she chokes out to her empty bedroom, "tell me what I've done wrong, Anna."

"—kay, Elsa's _got_ to be in here, because whoa! This sadness got a whole lot stronger!"

 _What the_ — _Olaf…?_

Another knock sounds on her door, the raps faster this time. "Hey Elsa, are you sure you're not in here? If you're not in here, just say so!"

She stifles a chuckle at Olaf's antics. _How does one say that they are not in there, if they are not there to answer…_

Resigning herself to the fact that Olaf is unlikely to leave of his own volition now, she gets up off the bed and grabs a clean handkerchief from the small bedside table to dry her eyes and cheeks. Elsa makes her way over to the door, and slowly twists the knob to open it, letting the snowman into her room.

"Hello Olaf," she says to him, fighting to keep her voice from cracking. "Is there something I can help you with?"

He shambles in slowly, looking up at her all the while and his face falls into a frown when he sees her red eyes and flushed cheeks. In a low, soft voice he answers, "Well, I started feeling sad earlier this afternoon and I just can't figure out why… I was having such a wonderful time in the gardens smelling all the flowers, enjoying the sun shining down on me. Then I noticed that the closer I got to your room I started to feel sadder."

"I… I'm sorry, Olaf. I… it's Anna. We were down at the orphanage for our usual visit, but… something wasn't right. I reached out wrap our arms together like we always do, but she was staring at the ground and frowning. When she finally did take my hand, she urgently tried to take it back when I noticed her shaking. Then, when we got back to the castle, she darted straight out of the carriage without a word to me as soon as it had stopped." She feels tears pooling once more, and she sobs out, "It… she's avoiding me… and—"

She is interrupted by Olaf attempting to wrap his stick arms around her. "It'll be ok, Elsa. Oh! Maybe it has something to do with her questions…"

"Her questions?" Elsa stares at him.

"Yeah… she was in the library looking through some books… and I walked in and she was reading, and she said she had some personal questions. Then she found this one book, and after she looked at it for a couple minutes she said she might have found some answers. Then she took the book back to her room, to read it in private."

Olaf concludes his tale by stepping back a little to spread his stick arms, snowy face lifting into a broad grin. That grin falls the moment Elsa glances away to the floor.

"Ow," Olaf mumbles as he raises his arms up to touch the meat of his midsection.

Elsa looks back up and sees him start to inspect his snow body, a crease in his brow and a frown to match. Distraught, she can't bear to look at him and instead directs her gaze back to the ground.

"What…what book did she find Olaf?" Her voice comes out to a whisper, a defeated whisper.

"She wouldn't tell me," he replies sadly.

 _So Anna won't talk to Olaf either…_ The ache in her heart eases a little at a new thought that occurs to her, but it still remains.

Perhaps the problem isn't with either of them...but with Anna. The thought brings strength back to her limbs, and she takes a step towards the door. Worry has quickly taken over any hurt she feels from her sister's distant actions—if there is something bothering Anna, something causing her to act this way, then...regardless of Elsa's own feelings on the matter, she has to be there to help. She has to be there for Anna.

After thirteen years...she can at least do that much.

"Are you going to go see Anna!?" the excitement in Olaf's voice is not hard to miss.

"I…" Something lodges in her throat at Olaf's excited, hopeful expression. The way he claps his hands together and bounces a little in place. She swallows past the lump in her throat to continue with, "Yes. Will you...Will you come with me, Olaf?"

"Of course I will!"

Elsa forces herself to smile at the ecstatic look on his beaming face. Pushing the door to her room open, she steps out into the hallway and takes a long inhale to steady her shaking limbs and calm her racing heart. Olaf waddles after her, rambles about anything that comes to his simple mind and it sooths Elsa. The little snowman is a lot like Anna when she's in her best moods and it helps Elsa gather enough courage to stride down the hall towards her little sister's bedroom—determined to see that same smile grace Anna's sweet freckled face once again.

"Are you going to knock?"

Elsa snaps her head to Olaf, who in turn is just looking up at her in curiosity.

"Knock? What are-" she cuts herself off when she glances up to see a familiar door pattern staring back at her. When did she get here? How long has she been standing here? Her courage begins to falter somewhat at finally confronting her sister. The fear of rejection begins to slowly creep into her heart, and Elsa closes her eyes to keep it at bay.

"Elsa?" A tug of her dress causes her to open her eyes to the sight of a concerned Olaf. "We came to help Anna with her questions right?"

 _Oh Olaf._

The blonde woman throws an appreciative smile his way, thankful for his presence. She gives his head a few pats, at which he beams up at her, and turns to fully face Anna's door. Determination flows through her veins at Olaf's reminder, and she will be damned if she doesn't try to make everything better again.

 _Because I love you so much Anna and I miss you._

Elsa takes a deep breath and knocks on her sister's door.

She waits, and when she doesn't get an answer right away she raps the door a little harder with her knuckles and goes to call Anna's name when Olaf beat her to it.

"Anna!" the snowman shouts, jumping up and down beside Elsa. "Open up!"

On the opposite side of the door they heard a muffled, "Hold on, Olaf!"

Elsa glances at Olaf while they wait and the little snowman shines a bright smile up at her. She forces a small smile of her own at him in return and then turns back to stare at the door, holding her breath and hoping whatever was going on with Anna wasn't anything too serious and she was just overreacting and worrying for nothing.

A few seconds later, hurried footsteps approach and Anna finally flings open the door, her gaze automatically aimed downward where she expects to see Olaf.

The first thing her eyes alight on is not the snowman, but Elsa's legs…

A rush of red coloring immediately covers the princess's cheeks. "Oh!" she squeaks, squeezing the door frame with one hand and lifting her focus to Elsa's face. "Elsa! You're here…"

Her sister's sudden tenseness upon realizing it wasn't just the snowman there to see her does not go unnoticed by Elsa. Smiling tentatively, she hazards, "Can we talk?"

Anna looks behind her for a moment then back to Elsa, an apprehensive look present on her freckled face, before flashing a tight smile.

"Su-" Anna's voice squeaks and instantly blushes. She clears her throat and continues, "I mean uhh yeah, sure. I mean yes."

Her younger sister leaves the door ajar, and scurries back to her bed to throw some object haphazardly into her nightstand drawer. Elsa notices for a split second that it's a book and starts to ask about it but stops herself.

 _Too soon...we need to clear things between us first. If I ask now, it will only driver her farther away and I don't think I can handle that._

Elsa silently signals for Olaf to stay in the hallway, much to the snowman's disappointment. He concedes with a small nod and she shuts the door.

Taking a deep breath, Elsa straightens her back and, squaring her shoulders, turns and strides towards the bed where Anna has taken a seat.

The younger girl fidgets restlessly and avoids looking at her, hands clasped together in a strong chokehold in her lap. It disturbs Elsa to see Anna acting this way around her. She tries thinking of the best way to approach the issue and decides to just blurt it out.

She needs to know the truth.

"Anna, I couldn't help but notice back at the orphanage…" Hesitating, Elsa inches a little closer to Anna and asks, "Have I… done something to upset you?"

She watches as Anna shakes her head, though still without looking at her. When her leg bumps against Anna's as she shuffles over to close the distance, she feels Anna jump then sees her scramble to put distance between them once more.

"Are… you mad at me?" Again, she receives a shake of the head in response.

 _Then why?_ She hangs her head and begins to sob gently.

"Do you… do you hate me?"

She sees Anna's body turning to face her.

"NO!" Anna exclaims fervently. "I don't hate you. I could… I could never hate you. I _love_ you—"

"But… then why would you not talk to me? Why would you not hold my hand at the orphanage like you have ever since we got back together?"

* * *

'… _since we got back together?'_

Anna feels the blood draining from her face as she freezes. Her mind begins processing the array of connotations possibly associated to that statement, and the heat rapidly returns to her face in earnest. She starts to feel light-headed from the sudden rush and instinctively reaches out to support herself, gripping her right hand upon Elsa's upper arm. With a glance at her sister she is grateful, as it appears that Elsa missed her momentary lapse—head just now rising to look at her. The tight, pained smile shrouded by streaks of wetness trailing down pale cheeks makes her heart clench and stomach twist.

She shivers slightly and briefly glances around the room to see snow swirling gently around them, before returning her gaze to Elsa. _Oh sweet Freyja! What have I done?_

Fighting back her inner turmoil, she wraps her arms around her older sister and pulls her into a tight hug. "Elsa, I will _always_ love you."

"Oh _Anna,_ " her sister chokes out. From there, Elsa clutches onto Anna like she is the only thing anchoring her down to this earth. The dam breaks and Elsa cries freely, burrowing her head into the crook of Anna's neck. The young princess feels her heart throb painfully at the sight and tightens her hold on her sister.

"I-I," Elsa pauses in between her sobs, "I was so w-worried Anna that I had m-messed things up! Messed _us_ up!"

 _Fix this Anna. Fix this NOW._

Anna tries to be brave like her sister, who has summoned the courage to face her even after the orphanage incident – through all of her doubts and fears, confront her about the rift that has been placed between them as of late.

"Elsa, no matter what happens… I promise I will always love you." The crying only intensifies from her beloved sister and guiltily, Anna knows this is all her doing. "I'm so, _so_ sorry for everything. I just…" Elsa shifts somewhat to peer up at her through damp eyelashes, and the look she gives absolutely breaks Anna's heart. The young princess closes her eyes to keep her tears at bay and tucks Elsa back into her neck, refusing to answer those pleading eyes just yet.

God only knows that if their roles were reversed, Anna's world would crumble from the inside out. The fact that she is witnessing it now, in the bodily form of her sister, only makes her feel more terrible than before. How can she have brought this pain upon someone she loves so dearly? Who, without a second thought, she would take an arrow to the chest for?

 _Be brave. Just be honest. Hiding things won't solve anything.._

"It's," Anna starts, eyes still shut tight, "I-It's been…" _You can do it Anna._ "…complicated."

 _Coward._

"C-Complicated?" She hears Elsa stammer out faintly, her sobbing continuing throughout. "W-What is complicated?"

 _Come on Anna, you have to do SOMETHING here!_

"W-Well," she begins shakily, feeling Elsa's hands wringing together against her chest. "I t-think… I think I might like girls."

"You think you might like girls?" Comes the quiet, hesitantly questioning reply. "When we are together, we are always so close… of course you like girls." She notices that Elsa's voice starts to get stronger for the latter part.

"Well, yes… I like girls. But, I think that I might… _like_ like girls!?" Her intended statement comes out more as a question. She sighs deeply and opens her eyes once more, catching Elsa's widening slightly in recognition.

"Oh. Well that's alright. No matter what, you're still my sister and I love you." Elsa says reassuringly, pools of sapphire sparkling up at her.

Anna feels the hands against her chest unclench from each other to wrap around her waist supportively, and she lets her shoulders fall in relief. After a moment, however, she sees the light smile which previously alit her sister's face twist into a frown.

"But, Anna, that still doesn't explain why you… why you've been so distant _from me_ …" She hears the cracks and pleading in the blonde's voice, and her heart feels like it's being torn asunder yet again.

 _Crap-crap-crap-crap-CRAP. I don't even know where to begin._

"Well, uh, you see Elsa," Anna begins and notices her sister tense under her, "I have been trying to figure out about my uh, l-liking girls situation. So…I have been uh, a little preoccupied up in the head." Anna mentally pats herself on the back, feeling like she's evaded the _true_ question being asked.

"Still, why not come to me since I'm not a part of the problem? We are supposed to share everything together right Anna?" Elsa begins to sniffle again.

Her stomach drops, and Anna feels she's cornered. _There goes my escape route. I mean do I even know why I have been evading Elsa? She's so nice, so smart and beautiful and smells nice and I love her and when she laughs it really lights up her eyes and—Oh. Right. Dammit._

Anna doesn't want to lie to her sister. Just the thought of doing so makes her sick to her stomach. Keeping secrets from each other was supposed to be a thing of the past!

 _But I don't have to lie_ , she realizes and says, "I thought you'd be disgusted by me if you knew."

No doubt if Elsa knew _she_ was the girl— or rather, woman— she liked in that way… She would be thoroughly disgusted…

"What?" Elsa says shrilly, a look of utter disbelief written all over her face. She then surprises Anna by snorting in a rather un-queenly manner. "Anna, no! Why… How could you even think that?" she asks incredulously.

"I—" Anna's words are cut off when Elsa cups her face with both hands and draws forward, kissing her forehead tenderly.

"You're my baby sister. I love you!" Elsa wraps her arms around Anna's frame and holds her like she never wants to let her go. "You could never disgust me," she assures meaningfully. "Certainly not because of this!"

Anna returns the hug fervently and blinks back tears, wanting to believe Elsa's words are true. _If you only knew the whole truth, Elsa,_ she thinks somberly. She says nothing though, only nods to show Elsa she heard her.

Ending the hug, Elsa pulls away and a slight blush brightens her usually pale complexion. "Like I said, it's perfectly alright if you like girls." She clears her throat and admits shyly, "And if it'll help ease your worries… well, I like women, too."

Anna intakes air sharply through her now gaping mouth. She feels her heart beginning to beat at an increased tempo, and her cheeks warming significantly.

"That's…" Anna continues to stare at her sister, looking dumbstruck.

 _She likes girls too! Wow, I can't believe it._ She snaps out of her thoughts at the sudden shift in her arms and looks to see Elsa look down bashfully, hands nervously wringing in her lap. Anna's heart warms at the sight of her sister's shy nature.

"Elsa," she calls and the woman before her looks up to lock eyes, "that's ok too, with me anyways, if you like girls. Better than ok!"

"Better than ok?"

Anna clamps her hand to her mouth as already warm cheeks begin to burn, darting her eyes around the room to avoid her sister's gaze.

 _Oh for the love of Freyja, I said THAT out loud! I shouldn't have said that. I mean, I meant it, because she's so sweet and caring and funny and beautiful and my best friend, and I love her, and it's great that I know she's into girls too, and—_

Her rambling internal monologue is interrupted by Elsa's soft voice, filled with concern. "Anna?" She feels a cool hand against her cheek, gently pulling her face to look at Elsa again. "Are you alright? Your eyes grew so wide—as if you'd seen a ghost."

"I-I'm fine," Anna stutters out. Cobalt eyes watch her carefully, and a frown begins to form on rosy lips. Her eyes flicker to her sister's lips before catching Elsa's attention again, and the redhead gulps as she notices the surprise etched in blue irises.

Afraid that Elsa caught her unwitting slip, Anna attempts to redirect the conversation. "You're frowning. Are you… mad at me?"

That seems to do the trick, as her sister releases a light sigh and her features soften. "No, Anna, I'm not mad at you. I just wish that you would have come to me about this to begin with instead of shutting me out."

Anna feels Elsa's hands fidgeting at her back.

"Not that I'm one to say anything about shutting others out…" Elsa utters weakly, and Anna sees the tears begin to form in her eyes.

"Oh, Elsa… no. Please, don't cry." She tightens her arms around her elder sister, as the blonde's face buries itself into Anna's shoulder. "I told you before, it's not your fault. It was _never_ your fault! And you don't need my forgiveness, as none is required."

It takes several minutes of Anna whispering reassurances in her older sister's ear, one hand soothingly rubbing up and down her back while Anna struggles to keep her thoughts completely clean, for Elsa to calm down. Anna's shoulder is damp and the position they found themselves in is uncomfortable but she doesn't rush the blonde. It's her fault that Elsa's this upset in the first place...she's willing to do whatever it takes to see her gorgeous smile again.

"There now, all better?" Anna coos and she feels Elsa nod against her shoulder.

A knock sounds at the door and it causes both women to jump in surprise. Anna giggles as Elsa looks up at her and follows suit. The sight of her beautiful sister smiling again soothes the pain from earlier, and the princess feels like she can breathe easily now.

 _No more tears for you my sweet, sweet Elsa._

"Princess Anna, Queen Elsa? Are you in there? Olaf says you are…" The voice is a bit muffled through the door but it is still distinguishable.

Considering her sister's state, Anna takes charge in answering for the both of them. "Is everything alright, Gerda?"

"Oh! Yes, of course everything is alright, dear. Dinner is being served soon so I came to summon the both of you. Elsa is with you, I presume, since she is not in her room?"

At the mention of Elsa's name, Anna tightens her hold on her sister. Elsa looks at her with a look of confusion, and the younger sibling only gives a loving smile in response.

"Yes, Elsa is here with me. We are just...discussing a few things," Anna gives a quick kiss to Elsa's cheek and watches proudly at the adorable smile that begins to form on her sister's face, "We will be both down for dinner shortly. Thank you, Gerda!"

"You're very welcome, dears," and with that, Gerda is gone, leaving the two alone once again.

Or mostly alone.

"Hey, guys? Can I come in now?" Olaf sounds from the hallway outside, giving the door a quick rap of his wooden knuckles.

Rubbing her eyes with her palms to dry them, Elsa quickly responds, "Olaf, you can come in now."

Olaf enters curiously, glancing from one sister to the other as if making sure things are good between them again, and once he detects a smile on each of their faces he runs up to them both, giving them a warm hug.

"Woo! That was an experience," he says with a chortle, seemingly back to his chipper old self. "Definitely do not want to go through that again! No way!" He sighs as he shakes his head and grins up at them. "I still feel a little wonky but it's not as bad as before, thank goodness!"

Seeing Anna's questioning look, Elsa explains to her, "Apparently Olaf can feel what I feel emotion-wise…"

"Oh! So then earlier, he…" Anna's heart clenches when Elsa averts her gaze to the floor, and guilt crawls up her throat again. _Wonderful job, Anna...you managed to hurt not one, but_ two _people today…_

"No, no, no...Don't look so sad, Anna!" Olaf exclaims, drawing her into another hug. "I'm fine now, I promise!"

As Olaf releases her from the hug, she feels a cool hand gently rub down her right arm before grabbing her hand and squeezing tightly.

"It's alright now, Anna. We talked, and we're ok now, right?" Elsa's voice is steady and reassuring.

"Yes… Yes, we're good." Anna pauses, taking a deep breath. "Thank you, Elsa." She then pulls her sister into a tight hug as she softly mumbles into her nearly white tresses, "I love you."

She feels, more than hears, the near-whisper reply as it breezes across her ear. "I love you too."

Her heart warms pleasantly inside her chest and a wave of contentment settles over her. There is nothing better in the world than hearing Elsa say those oh so special words to her.

Even if Elsa meant them only in a purely sisterly way…

Standing, Anna grasps Elsa's hand firmly and tugs her to her feet. "Come on, let's go eat dinner before it gets cold!"

And so, hand in hand they exited Anna's room to make their way down to the dining area to eat.

* * *

 **Contributors for this chapter are:** Cyrianu, The Wandering Quill, Wintersummerallthefunner, Wolfypuppy7, CanITellUSmThin.


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